Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
