She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
