420 ftw
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize