It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.