i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
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Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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