I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
