I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
