is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.