Its about making memories worth repressing
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.