apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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