Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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