My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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