I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so let's talk penis.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
