i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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