Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
