This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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