At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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