I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize