I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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