Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
