he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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