Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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