someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
