You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
