i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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