You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
