I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize