Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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