there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm having to shit out rocks
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