I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
