Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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