nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
