So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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