why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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