Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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