keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
