I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize