guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
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Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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