the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize