how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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