I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
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too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
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I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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