i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Two words: blizzard sex
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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