I wish my penis had an off switch
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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