Christians are straight up FREAKS
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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