Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers