I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
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apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
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Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.