While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...