I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.