I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize