oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
