Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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