We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Small penises have feelings too.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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