the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize