Screwed.edu
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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